Hang on a minute, you may think I am a sad little cow who has nothing good to say about anything. Well, to confess, the only time this side of my personallity shows is right here. In here I can write and write to purge all the bad feelings and then get on with my day with a clean slate.
With all the pressure in my life right now (and not dealing with it internally too well) I need an outlet to protect the lighter side of me. All my friends, family and husband see is the same old happy go lucky, wise cracking, eye rolling, nothing is too hard, Liddy and that is all I hope they ever see. I already feel inadequate enough inside so the last thing I need is my friends and family to see this externally.
I will continue to smile and grin through my childrens misbehaviour and bad moments, I will continue to be a rock for my Mum as Dad dies a little more everyday and I will continue to back my husband with all his financial decisions no matter how hairbrained they seem to me.
At least in here I can blab all these ill feelings away and know that they need no come to the surface in my real life. God help us all if I do melt down.
Ahhh thats better!
Liddy